Happy New Year’s Eve, friends!
If I could choose one word to describe 2023, it’s learning and change.
Okay, that’s two words, but one cannot exist without the other. Let me explain.
2023 was the year I got shingles (not fun), went on a short camping trip where all four of us (me, husband, two kids) got eaten alive by mosquitos (also not fun), where we drove up to Seattle to apply for a last-minute passport for my daughter because we had completely forgotten to check before we book plane tickets to Europe. (definitely not fun).
Aside from those mishaps, there were some memorable moments. One of them was an unexpected family reunion in early March when my mom joined us in Seattle (a separate trip from the passport debacle) and we ended up visiting her older sister and their family and having several meals with them. It was really interesting to see them together, mainly because they look like twins, and because they hadn’t seen each other in decades, so neither knew exactly how to react.
I also saw my kids grow in front of my eyes, not just physically but emotionally as well. I began to notice how they each have specific interests now. The fact that they could endure a 7-hour flight twice for a two-week jaunt around Europe, with quite a bit of running involved is proof that they are more than capable of adjusting to new or different experiences. To be able to see the changes is a privilege. (Also, I am a mom to a tween now, which is…scary).
I learned to be okay with getting older. This is not easy for me, because I don’t feel that much older. But then I look at myself in the mirror and I see some wrinkle lines, but luckily not very much in terms of gray hairs. My childbearing days are practically over (?) and for some reason, that makes me sad.
I learned that I’m not too old to have fun. Age has no barrier on new experiences. Thus, I had two very notable ‘new’ experiences: 1) going to a concert and 2) getting back into a pool after several decades away.
I learned that it’s okay to do things without a specific reason other than “I just want to.” I mean, who do you need to justify your actions to other than yourself?
I learned that getting older means becoming more certain.
If you read my last post, you’ll know that my husband and I have been wavering back and forth between staying or leaving Portland. It’s a cycle of indecision that has reached its peak.
One day in early December, as I was sitting at home working on a spreadsheet for work, a random thought popped up. I thought, “I wouldn’t mind living in….” and just like that, I knew. I had my reasons, and they make sense to me at least right now.
Then about two weeks ago, my husband came up with an idea of something we should do together (again, this was something we’d been teetering back and forth in addition to moving) and he said, “We should do this,” to which I replied, “Okay.” It just made sense. There was no back-and-forth dialogue where one of us tries to talk the other person out of it.
Could this be confidence? I don’t know. All I know is that as I get older, I have less time to sit there and ponder about all the possible results that could occur. I should just make the jump and see what happens, right?
What’s next in 2024
Part of my self-reflection involves what I’ve done with this newsletter and I want to do…which, as it turns out, are two very different things. When I started this newsletter three years ago, I didn’t know what I wanted to write about specifically.
Then I realized I wanted to write about food and family because that’s what I’m known for. Basically that was the main gist of 2022, until I got burned out being online and left for a year. Then I came back and thought I would do the same thing. But somehow I became sidetracked and it evolved into writing about feelings instead. Then I got lost and began to feel dispirited, but one thing that has not changed is your support. Special shoutouts to
and my friend Sheri (along with the rest of you - I’m sorry if I forgot your name!) for liking, commenting, and sharing your thoughts with me. I appreciate all of you.In 2024, I plan on writing more about food (my first love), and combining it with books (my second love1). So I changed my welcome message to this:
It’s simple, and I think it makes sense. At least, for now.
I have several big projects that I’m excited to tell you all about, but I can’t do it yet! If you no longer want to hear from me, you can always unsubscribe (which I’ll be sad, but I’ll be okay with it eventually), but if you feel like you like what I write, then you can do me (and yourself) a favor by spreading the cheer to your friends, families, colleagues, or anyone you know, for that matter!
2023 Favorites
Inspired by Anne Helen Petersen’s ‘Your Top Five’ post, I decided to pull up my own favorites.
NOTE: As much as I wanted to, I was not very good at tracking/saving the links and noting everything this year so this list barely scratches the surface. However, they are all very good, I promise.
Books
Trust by Hernan Diaz – a strange book about perspective and how it varies depending on who’s telling the story.
The Sky Over Rebecca by Matthew Fox – a truly heartwarming story about friendship that I wish I had as a kid.
Sunshine Nails by Mai Nguyen – a fun, laugh out loud tale that is also truly authentic.
Atomic Habits by James Clear – a worthwhile read if you’re looking to change your (bad) habits.
Counterfeit by Kirstin Chen – a truly magnificent novel about Asian Americans and the power of the American dream.
Articles
When the Culture Wars Come for the Public Library by E. Tammy Kim (The New Yorker) - a fascinating look at the political debate between how public libraries should be and what they actually are.
Notes from Prince Harry’s Ghostwriter by J. R. Moehringer (The New Yorker) - I’ve always wondered who wrote such celebrity memoirs and how they got there, and this article answered it.
The Astonishing Transformation of Austin by Lawrence Wright (The New Yorker) - I visited Austin, TX back in November 2021 and it was jarring to see how the city has progressed and interesting to learn why.
The Last Dance with My Dad by Emily Ziff Griffin (The New Yorker) - such a sad, yet tender story about a father-daughter relationship, which reminds me of my own. (Can you tell I’m obsessed with The New Yorker? I even have a handful of their jigsaw puzzles).
Barbie, Her House and the American Dream by Anna Kodé (The New York Times) - I love NYT’s interactive posts, and this one tops the charts for me. I learned a surprising amount about Barbie.
Podcasts
Scamfluencers – what a wild, doozy of a story: “Three Weddings and a Funeral”
Freakonomics – something I’m learning to embrace: “How to Succeed at Failing”
Whose Amazing Life? – you’ll be surprised to find out who it is: “The Reader”
But Why? – a fun story about the history of emojis: “Who invented emoji?”
Not Past It – loved this story about a badass ‘bad’ woman: “The Notorious Ma Barker”
Videos
Why you should embrace mediocrity - Crispin Thurlow (TED Talk). A talk about…you guess it – being average. But it’s worth a watch, trust me.
The Bear (Hulu) – I loved this show and its messy storylines. Period.
The Dropout (Hulu) – a fantastic performance by Amanda Seyfried.
Float: A Grandma Learns to Swim (New Yorker Video) – a heartwarming and inspiring story that reminds me age is just a number.
The Battle to Beat Malaria – NOVA (PBS) – I probably had malaria as a child, so this was very, very inspiring to learn about its research.
Food for thought
I’ll leave you with this great quote from a figure I loved, who made such an impact on the world of food and travel.
“As you move through this life and this world, you change things slightly; you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life—and travel—leave marks on you.” –Anthony Bourdain (RIP).
I’ll be spending the rest of December 31st drinking rose. See you next year!
Actually, it’s hard to decide which I love more: food or books. I’d say they’re pretty equal.
I appreciate all of your writing — no matter what you're writing about. I agree with Ruth and Marg: No need to choose between books and food. And I look forward to your new projects!
Thanks for the mention, Hoang! I have always appreciated your candor about your life, including the difficult parts, I know that’s not easy to do. Food and books are great interests—you needn’t choose between them. I’ve often found I can feed both passions at once in great cookbooks and in books where food is a prominent player (In Louise Penny mysteries, for example). Enjoyed your lists too. Wishing you and your adorable family great good fortune in 2024!