If you were to ask me what life skills should have been taught in school, I would tell you that I needed a class on how to deal with rejection, if not in high school then certainly in college. The other day, I felt rejection reverberating in my bones, shaking me to the core. Six job rejections in one day. Six. Now, that doesn’t seem like a lot to some but it was a lot to me, especially when two of those rejections came for companies I really wanted to work for.
“Should I email the HR person or department at those companies and make my case, like beg them to talk to me? Or is that too desperate?” I asked my husband, whose response to a rejection is usually a shrug and a meh.
“Sounds a little desperate but okay, sure,” he said. He knows that the secret to a happy marriage is to always agree with your spouse whenever he or she tells you they’re going to do something and phrased it like a question. We’ve been taking up residence at our dining room table for the past few weeks, sitting in front of our computers practically everyday and putting in late nights like we’re college students cramming for finals again. The only thing that separates us is the glow of our computer screens, and every once in a while, a grunt or sudden body movement. Nobody ever said finding a new job was easy.
At least I’ve had good luck in the kitchen. I actually like my kitchen now — it’s bright and airy with white cabinets and white marble countertops, which I love. My old kitchen had darker wooden cabinets that tried to look cool but never was and even darker granite countertops. Since I’m a person who likes to take food photos, it was not a good place to do so. I have to have my vice somehow, right?
I know it sounds crazy given that I live in such a hot place now, but seeing as how we’ve spent the past month or two furiously working on our move to Florida — lining up all of our ducks in a row was quite difficult! And certain things didn’t even line up! — I had zero time to bake. So you can guess that it was all I could think about.
Because it’s peach season and because it was on sale, I decided to take home some plump peaches from my local Publix grocery store. Then I promptly went into the kitchen on a Monday afternoon and made a peach crisp, recipe courtesy of Yossy Arefi at NYT Cooking. With just the right crumbly top a heaping three pounds of peaches, its juices underneath married with just sugar, lemon juice, cornstarch and a pinch of salt, I was in peach heaven. Top it with some Ben & Jerry’s vanilla ice cream and you’ve got an antidote to multiple job rejections…or whatever “bad” thing happened in your day. The picture below does not do it enough justice.
Fueled by sugar and the desire to bake again, I made a blueberry loaf from Smitten Kitchen two days later. I’ve been a fan of Deb Perelman for quite some time now, and she calls this a “perfect blueberry loaf” and I have to agree. It was absolutely perfect. Deb, if you’re reading this then — oh my gosh, let me scream first — then tell you that I love you and your recipes. You and Yossy Arefi are queens of baked goods. Your recipes rarely fail me.
There’s something so wonderful about baking. Perhaps it’s the smells in your kitchen afterwards. Perhaps it’s the fact that not many can say no to sweets. Perhaps it’s those starches, acids, spices and sugars coming together to form something beautiful to look at and to eat that makes me deliriously happy whenever I bake.
Even when I fail at a recipe, I never feel the way I feel whenever I get rejected for a job. Failing at a recipe only makes me want to try again and again and again until I get it right. So I told myself to employ the same mentality as job hunting — keep going. If at first you don’t succeed, try again, a wise person once said.
Yesterday, I was on a roll. After applying to more jobs I made popsicles — again, Deb Perelman has my back, because her berry yogurt popsicles was exactly what we needed on a hot summer day. And boy, it has been HOT here in Orlando. We are cooling down with more popsicles as I write this.
In the meantime, I will be alternating between job applications and baking, one of which puts me to sleep and the other energizes me. I’ll let you guess which one is which. I’ll be back next week with more photos, hopefully from the things I bake, but if not, then photos of our recent adventures to and around Florida.
See you (online) soon!
— Hoang
Some notes about the recipes
If you try out the recipes, I recommend doing the following:
For the blueberry loaf, I didn’t have any turbinado sugar to top it off before baking so I used light brown sugar and was surprised to find that it produced a nice, crackly top, a perfect complement to the soft berry interior.
For the peach crisp, I added extra rolled oats because I like things extra crumbly. Instead of ½ cup, I used a full cup. Choose your own adventure on this one, but I do think a little extra made it even better.
Baking is my favorite occupation when escaping my woes too. But it can create other woes (weight gain, for me!)—unless you have friends and family members who beg to be your taste testers! I do! Baking does provide immediate gratification, unlike most job searches. Good luck with both, Hoang. The SK blueberry loaf does sound delicious!
In Stoic philosophy, we have "Amor Fati" (Love of fate.) Embracing what happens to one is a tool we can use to deal with rejection. Epictetus mentioned how we can't control what happens to us (circumstances), but we can control how we react. Of course, this doesn't mean that you don't recognize or analyze the reason for what happens so you can modify your position in the future.