This Is the Year I Learn to Fall in Love With Cooking
Or the year I make bold statements aka new years resolutions
Here’s a random fact that you probably can’t guess from looking at me: at home, I am not the main cook. My husband is. He makes better dinners than I do. Probably because he’s done it longer than I have. Part of that is out of necessity; the other part is because I’ve never really learned how to cook. At least, not properly.
You see, my mom never taught me how to cook. Honestly, I don’t think she enjoyed cooking herself. She made quite a few good dishes though. But I think she saw cooking as another domestic chore that she had to fulfill, and my mother was not much of a domestic person. She kept our house clean while I was growing up and later, her apartment was always spotless. But she rarely cooked for pleasure. Every time I visited her, I saw a mostly empty fridge, and when she ate, it was always very basic, low-cost items like oatmeal and vegetable soup.
Once, when I was about six or seven, she tried to teach me how to make these little dumplings that she used to make in bulk to sell at outdoor markets in town. I remember her being very particular about it. She scrunched up her nose whenever I didn’t pinch the dough correctly. We both got frustrated with one another and I never attempted to make those dumplings again, even though I loved eating them. They were so delicious and reminds me of home every time.
Then again, it’s not necessarily a mother’s job to teach her daughter how to cook. It’s just that a lot of mothers do. My mother, however, did not fit into the mold of a traditional mother, at least not on the inside. So I never learned to appreciate the kitchen the way it’s supposed to.
As an adult, I understand why so many people choose to go into the restaurant business. Why they cook for others. There’s a certain joy to feeding people, especially when you do it well. Food is nourishment, first of all, but it’s also the bind that connects us all. At the dinner table, we can forget our differences and just lean in to enjoy and appreciate the bounty that is in front of us.
Now that the new year is upon us, I feel like I should learn to cook a little bit better. But my mom is no longer around to teach me, so I have to do it myself. Which means a lot of practice in the kitchen, a lot of wasting food, and a lot of unlearning old beliefs.
But seeing as how there is an extremely low success rate with New Year’s resolutions, perhaps we should reframe how we think about New Year’s resolutions overall.
What if instead of thinking about resolutions as things you need to change about yourself, why not think of it as things you can get better at doing? This reframing might help us steer ourselves forward and keep going when we feel like giving up — the idea that we can get better at something we already do.
Without further ado, here are my three “resolutions” for 2026.
Three goals that will be challenging to accomplish
Learn to love cooking. I should probably rephrase this to “learn to cook, period” but you know what I mean – I don’t love cooking because I don’t usually cook. However, I feel that if I spend more time in the kitchen, I might learn to fall in love with the process. After all, it’s about the journey, not the destination, right?
I’m also trying to be realistic here, hence why I’m putting this at the top of my list. That’s because it’s the most challenging, in my opinion. The one that might set me up for failure for the rest of the year, the one I should focus on the most to ensure I don’t fail. One thing I have going for me is that I don’t like to fail. So if I fail at something in the kitchen, you bet I’m going to try again…and again…and again until I get it right.
Write more…and work on revising one book, and one book only (and stop worrying about what people think!)
As you may or may not know, I’ve written a few books. Almost half a million words. It’s currently gathering technological dust in my various drives – Google drive, OneDrive, computer drive, my physical filing cabinets, etc. The problem is that I simply cannot focus on one story and one story alone – I have many interests when it comes to reading books, and unfortunately, this also translated into many interests for the type of books I write.
But I decided if I ever want to be a published author one day, I need to work hard on one book. And I think that book should be the first full-length novel I wrote, which is a Vietnam-war historical fiction inspired by my parents’ story. I also have 64 pages of notes, not counting whatever I have on my phone and other places, which is an embarrassing amount of notes to ignore.
Of course, I don’t want to just work on my book revision. I need to keep my momentum going with my writing, which like any muscle, will atrophy if you don’t exercise it. So I’m going to try to publish on this blog a bit more often and not worry about what people think. Thanks to artist Amy Stewart, this is my place to gather up my githerments.
Continue Duolingo – 365 more days. I don’t want to miss a single day of learning a new language. As of this writing, I’ve been learning French (and now Spanish!) on Duolingo for over 2 years (796 days, in case you’re wondering). It has done wonders for me. Aside from keeping my brain sharp, I’m learning two new languages, for crying out loud. Technically, I learned Spanish in high school but promptly stopped using it after I graduated. As for French, it’s a language that I’ve always been curious about and wanted to learn in high school but all the spots were taken for French so I settled for Spanish instead.
I’m currently at intermediate level French. Can I speak it? Not really. Do I understand it? Most of the time, yes. The best thing though is doing it with my family and my friend Sheri. We’ve been on 3-digit long “friend streaks” and I’m telling you, it works. If you ever want to learn a new language, start by doing it with someone you know on Duolingo. Your trust in one another will help propel you two forward.
Three goals that probably isn’t going to be too hard to accomplish
Learn to make Amigurumi dolls. I’ve been following this lady from London who does crocheting as a hobby and frankly, I’m jealous of what she makes. It’s adorable, to say the least. She’s conquered so many projects and made these cute little Japanese-inspired crochet dolls and I want to learn how to make them…mostly so I can give it away as gifts for friends, family, neighbors, colleagues, etc. To me, it sounds like the perfect no-screen activity that will make time go by very quickly!
Be a more environmentally conscious consumer. Honestly, I have no idea how I’m going to do this. But I’m determined to try. As the years go by, climate change is becoming a major issue in our world – something we can no longer ignore. While I’m not an activist by any means, I know I can do certain things in my own life, make certain decisions that can help alleviate some stress on the environment and to ensure that the earth continues to be habitable for future generations. Perhaps I’ll start by using less paper. Cloth napkins instead of paper napkins? I wish there was a way for me to recycle…
Read at least 50 books. I don’t think this will be too difficult, as I’ve already finished reading one book and we’re only four days into January. (I finished it on the 2nd). But I’m serious about reading. Every year, as I’ve said in this post, I aim to read at least 50 books, but this year, I’m trying to beat my goal of 56 from 2025…which means read more than 56 books. At the bare minimum, I should read at least 50 in order to consider myself successful in this goal.
There you have it. Three highly challenging goals and three not-so-challenging goals. I plan on providing an update every quarter or so to see how I’m doing and where I’ll need to focus my attention on.
I admire you for setting goals, Hoang. Learning to cook, reading more and writing more, and learning not just one but two languages—very ambitious! It does sound like you’ve made progress on several of them.
I’m not sure you can learn to fall in love with cooking unless it’s already something that has a hold on your heart. Better to just learn to make things that you really want to make or connect with through your heritage (like your mother’s dumplings). I don’t love cooking all the time, but attempting new recipes or reviving old heritage ones keeps my interest alive. Making the same old thing the same old way can be a bore—though sometimes it’s a comfort, like making some of the traditional Jewish foods I grew up with or have tasted or wanted to attempt. If you find dishes you really wish you could make and a recipe with clear directions, you may discover the joy of cooking, if only for one dish—and it could lead to others, or it might not. Either way, you’ll have fun!
We had similar mothers when it comes to cooking. I've learned to think of it as an act of love toward myself and others rather than servant-work, which I think was cultural. My goal among others in 2026 is to live more in the present and less of it online.