Early Birthday Treat
Diners, mini-dates and love languages
Come Tuesday, our brief snowstorm was gone and everything was back to normal. The grounds were clear save for a bit of rain and gray clouds in the sky—the usual for Oregon. Back to the garage the dogs went while the rest of us humans went back to work and school. Sometimes I wonder what they do while we’re gone; once, my husband suggested that we put a camera inside the garage so we can see what kind of shenanigans they’re up to in our absence but I declined, because deep down I know that whatever shenanigans two female dogs can get into will most likely occur while we are present. That’s the thing about pets—they can be one of the best sources of entertainment, a one-time investment that will last you for years.
On Wednesday, my husband and I found ourselves in a delightful predicament—we both had the day off work. An event doesn’t happen very often, but when it does, we take full advantage of it by going on a mini date.
Mini dates are an extremely low pressure, high reward affair where you do something together for a short period of time (in our case, two hours) while the kids are in school. I’m sure it comes as no surprise to anyone that the best time to spend with your spouse is when your kids are not around. So off we went to City State Diner, a restaurant that I’ve been eyeing online and was recommended to my husband to celebrate my 40th birthday three days early.
City State is cozy and quaint, tucked in the middle of a small, charming street in Northeast Portland, in an area of town just far enough to make us feel like we’re in a completely different place but not too far that it would take hours to get to. Dark tables, counter style barstool seating and walls lined with black-framed photos gave it a somewhat vintage vibe. It’s the kind of place where you could pretend that you were very cool person on a well-planned date hoping to impress the other person enough to be invited back to their place for an intimate drink and conversation afterwards. But the truth was, we were just two millennial parents who happened to have two hours of free time and decided to spend it together.
Years ago, he and I read a book together called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, a former minister and marriage counselor, which later grew into a website for couples. It’s a short but incisive book about tuning in to how your partner prefers to be loved and how you can (try to) match your actions to that preference. At the end, there is a quiz that you can take with your partner to find out which of the five love languages you possess. (You can also take the quiz online). For example, do they like it when you say, “I love you”? Do they prefer hugs and kisses? Do they love receiving gifts? Do they like it when you take over household responsibilities? Or would they much rather spend time with you?
Not surprisingly, we both scored similarly in that we prefer to spend time together. Quality time with your spouse is priceless, especially when you have kids, pets and a busy schedule.
On our mini-date, he ordered a Reuben sandwich and I ordered a caramelized onion scramble, filled with garlic, chives, fresh basil and Swiss cheese. Paired with crispy red potatoes and the most delicious melt-in-your-mouth buttery, flaky biscuit ever, it was the perfect meal to have on a late rainy morning.
When my birthday finally rolled around on Saturday, I got a flurry of ‘happy birthday’ messages from friends old and new along with several family members. I went to work where no one knew it was my birthday, which was absolutely fine because I came home to adorable birthday cards, red velvet cupcakes (my favorite kind) and decadent dark chocolate treats. Both left me feeling giddy and satisfied.
Last year on my birthday, I spent it clearing out my mom’s apartment, crying and feeling very sad because she had died while simultaneously thinking, “Dang it, Mom, why can’t you wait until after my birthday?” as if her dying was on my schedule. So this year’s well wishes, cupcakes and presents was certainly an improvement.
Until next week,
-Hoang
Delightful Discoveries of the Week
Every post, I’ll share a few delightful things that totally made my week. Here’s a few this week:
Take your date to the grocery store
At first, this sounds like a crazy idea, but once I read this (brief) article, I realized that the writer had a point. Taking something ordinary and using it as an opportunity to learn about your current or potential future partner has its merits. After all, you can tell a lot about someone (such as their eating habits) by what they put in their shopping cart. And it’s the easiest way to spend quality time together.
At work, they’ve been playing a solid rotation of 90s/early 2000s music, which gave me some serious nostalgic vibes. So I thought, what better way to go down memory lane than to listen to endless lists of the same kind of music on Spotify? Cue ‘One Hit Wonders’ which is an absolutely glorious way to relive the past. I even created my own list of angsty teenage love songs and I plan on listening to these lists until I grow sick of it (hasn’t happened yet) while simultaneously trying to convince my kids that the 90s and early 2000s were the best decade for music, period.